SHOW ‘EM WHO’S BOSS!!!

Actually, I was already working on another subject matter to post, but something happened over the weekend (on Saturday to be specific) that I think I should share with y’all… I had a great weekend by the way. Yep, a weekend away from all obligations (and believe me, there are many of them) that take my focus off what should be my focus. OK what I’m saying is that I spent the entire weekend, ALL of it with my husband! Oh yes, it was a fantastic weekend 😀

So… on Saturday, we did the “1st waking up” by 5:10am for our morning prayers. My husband led in the Scripture reading and mini sermon and asked me to round off everything with prayers afterwards. Me, I don’t like leading in prayers especially when I’m sleepy. I’d rather be led so that I can catch snoozes in between intervals when I’m required to respond “amen”. Anyways I asked him if he had any prayer request and he raised a very profound prayer point: “Let’s ask God for the grace to be thermostats and not thermometers as we go about our activities today…” We finished the prayers and began part 2 sleeping. I love Saturday mornings! 😀

What I did not realize was that the thermostat/thermometer prayer point would show up as a test later on that day. Hmmm… did I pass the test? I don’t know, you tell me…

Fast forward to around 1:00pm that same Saturday … My husband and I went grocery shopping at our favorite supermarket on Bode Thomas, Surulere armed with a list of things we needed. We wanted to buy a blender and since that was the most important thing on the list we decided to start with that. So off we went to the electronics section where we saw this blender we liked. The other stuff had their price tags on them but our blender did not appear to. I looked around and spied a sales rep sitting idly, so I called out to her “excuse me, how much is this?” Gesturing in a way that seemed insolent to me, she responded “the price is there na”. I glanced at the blender and did not see any price, so I responded coldly “the price is not here ma, if it was I would not have asked you”. She dragged herself out of her seat and came over to where we were standing still insisting that the price was on the blender. In a split second I thought to myself “what is wrong with this person? Did I come here to beg? Am I not going to pay for services rendered?” and that was when I lost it. I voiced my thoughts to her angrily, making sure I gave her lectures on customer service 101. My husband kept trying to pacify me “babes calm down, breathe… calm down” and for some reason that angered me further! Why could he not support me? Didn’t he see that this rude woman needed some talking-to? Ahn ahn was he ganging up with this stranger against me, his wife? All this drama happened within the space of say 3 minutes but it almost ruined the remainder of the day.

I quickly got over my anger with the sales rep after we left the supermarket but my husband’s presence reminded me that I was still upset with him. He didn’t even apologize sef! I was angry. On the journey back home, we did not speak to each other. Gone were the playful banter and the jovial mood we were in when we left the house. About halfway home, I asked myself “come, why are you even angry  sef?” I suddenly realized that I was mad at myself. Mad that I allowed the sales rep to ruin my day. Mad that I did not choose the option of “a soft answer turns away wrath”. Mad that I asked God for grace to be a thermostat and not a thermometer.  I mean, who was I kidding? SMH… A thermostat is a temperature regulator, it controls and cannot be controlled… it is in charge… it is the change agent. I was a thermometer… allowing the woman’s insolence to affect me and reacting to it. I felt so ashamed of myself. I did not represent Christ well at all. I made my husband look bad and all other Christians too. I sing in my church choir. A horrifying thought crossed my mind “what if the same woman walks into my church tomorrow and sees me up stage “lifting up holy hands”?” Wow, I was so ashamed.

Later on when we were home, I decided to patch things up with my husband (I can’t stand it when we are not talking) and he told me some bitter truths 🙂 … It wasn’t easy listening to what he said sha, but I’m glad I did. He voiced all the afterthoughts I had on our way home in a gentle but firm way. Here’s what he said:

  • Always be in control of your emotions: Yep, the thermostat/thermometer thing. Ring a bell? *sigh*
  • Always remember that your life is not yours to handle as you wish: Think about how your actions would affect others… your family, your friends, other Christians and most importantly, God.
  • Always give others the benefit of doubt: His point here was that the sales girl may not know about all the customer service “jargon” I was preaching at her. Her own is that I just come in, buy what I want and go. Abi na?
  • Always be considerate: He reasoned that the way I treated the sales rep may have ruined her day too. Hian! My husband is such a nice man o; I’m trying to be nice like him. Maybe one day…

Well, I accepted that I was wrong (I already knew I was anyway) and apologized to my husband and we made up…  😉 hehehe

Truth is, in all we do, we need to show who’s boss. Our lips? Our negative emotions? I think not!

What thinkest thou?

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62 Responses to SHOW ‘EM WHO’S BOSS!!!

  1. Shekwonyadu says:

    Successful people are those who make up their minds quickly and are not easily moved to change it; Wisdom is an expression of long term thinking…I learned about these, this weekend. A lot of times we trust that we would say the right words but do not take the time to think through what our “right words” should..we are like people who desire freedom but do not even know what it means. No wonder God gave us 2 ears but one mouth, to hear more and speak less, imagine if we had 2 mouths??. The saying goes thus “Think before you act” but in our time, its more like “Think before you speak” I love the candidness about this article so much..keep it up lahmeet, we need to be rising to the challenge as much as we have grace to do, and even more.

    Like

  2. Kamiheiwa says:

    This is by far one of the realest pieces I have read in a while. It takes a humble heart to have listened to the truths your husband re-emphasized and a brave one to share the experience with us. God bless you.

    Like

  3. Adebusola mi says:

    Wow! Anita, This is over the roof. I could imagine myself in your shoes. So many times we fail at what we determine to do but thank God grace picks us up and teaches us through the experience. What profound truth through a simple everyday encounter. I salute your courage to share and own up to your own side of it. The truth is so many times, we allow our emotions to control us, we forget that they are fickle and pass away quickly (I am most guilty of this). Thank God for His grace that covers us. We are gradually making progress and learning each day. Thank you for this piece, darling. A great truth as my birthday present. xx

    Like

  4. John Emevo says:

    You have a great gift in writing ministry. God bless you and grace you more to inspire more men and women esp. (wink)

    Like

  5. Shirley says:

    Your article is something I don’t hesitate to read. Incidentally, it reminded me of a similar attitude lecture 102(lemmi mimmick you) my baby gave me on a similar issue. Hmmmmn! True talk from your hubby, painful but true dear.
    Ehen, to answer your question- U didn’t pass the test o, but I am glad you realized your mistakes and you were humble enough to learn those powerful lessons from your hubby and sweetly too, chose to share with us the moral lessons U were taught.
    Anita, Welldone pretty you.

    Like

  6. Youdwak says:

    This truly resonates with many of us esp me, in a moment of anger & “I’m right” we not only embarrass ourselves but let God down, may God help us to always remember whose daughter we are & represent Him well. Good job, thumbs up

    Like

  7. Rakiya says:

    Wow nice….

    Like

  8. agee says:

    Wow dat was a true test of patience lahmeet, I also think any woman cud have acted on her emotions in d same way u did..God help us all.

    Like

  9. Alpee says:

    Mrs Giwa……………. I could read this piece over and over again, infact………… Saving it into my notebook 🙂 I saw my past in ur heart touching, lovely piece hmmmmmmmmn! The truth is I give God the praise for really touching me and I am changing everyday gradually by His grace. Please I need more reality write ups of yours. Thanks

    Like

  10. Erny says:

    I very much agree with Busola. It takes great courage to share dis and great humility to admit u are wrong. Nice one dear. But come o u didn’t share with us how u made up with ur husband na*winks*

    Like

  11. olatunde says:

    Hummmmmmm. …wow! Men anita I feel your initial anger, I understand what it is to be angered by a sales representative, it really takes a lot of self control not to get worked up. Like your hubby said thermostats not themometer……well written.

    Like

  12. Segun Fanoiki says:

    Great piece. Thanks for sharing the story. I also told God to make me thermostat not a thermometer.

    Like

  13. Ajose 'Repguy' Olufemi says:

    Really, we are faced with situations as this everyday, it’s seems hard to overcome but when we decide to give excuses for all wrong we think is done to us then we overcome our emotions (most times erratic) and master our life and really show we are “The Boss.” Nice write-up.

    Like

    • lahmeet says:

      Thanks Ajose and I agree with you. We have to overcome those erratic emotions and take control of our lives…all with God’s help. Thank you for stopping by

      Like

  14. kaytees says:

    Another great piece dear…..its a conscious effort I try to make every day,not to allow any one or circumstance determine my mood,instead of that be the thermostat!! That’s why we have the Holy Spirit to constantly keep us in check….cos we experience these things everyday!!! Write ups like this are important!!! Funny enough,when I prayed this morning….I specifically asked God to make me a thermostat….**i need to be on my guard!!!!
    Good job Anita love….God bless u!!!

    Like

  15. Great read. Great insights!

    Like

  16. This is a really wonderful piece. One of your best so far! It got me thinking of those time when I feel I have to give a reply to everything. It is well. God help us not to just read these things but to apply what they teach. God bless you greatly Mrs Lahmeet

    Like

  17. Emem says:

    Hello, dis is my first time on ur blog (saw the link on twitter – Tunde leye) . You cannot imagine how this piece touched me, I really have tears running down my face. Yesterday I had an opportunity to be a thermostat when I had an issue with my husband but I was too angry to think straight and have refused to talk to him since. I believe this is the Holy Spirit showing me what to do. Thank you for being God’s instrument.

    Like

  18. laoluadek says:

    This is so real…thanks for sharing

    Like

  19. tessa says:

    Wow
    That is the fruit of the spirit thingy I am working on presently
    I don’t know if I am winning or playing avoidance most of the time
    I enjoyed this.
    Next time ask God’s spirit to help you, you will get better
    Just stay willing to obey and pray if you fall, don’t ever give up
    It is worthwhile in the end of it all.

    Like

  20. Habila a.k.a HaychBeatz says:

    I had a similar experience @Lahmeet 2 weekends ago!!! Thank God for the Holy Spirit (Arresting the situation). Now this piece is a blessing filled with lots of virtue! Keep up the good works! Surely, it’s getting us somewhere.

    Like

  21. Robert says:

    This is really thought provoking piece! I had a similar experiece on Saturday but quickly walked away when I realized my dignity and respect would be dragged into the mud.
    Anita! Thank you. May be I’ll verbally share my experience with you so that you can pencil it down. You know I deal with figures!!!

    Like

  22. dinah says:

    wow! My dear,tanx 4 dis enlightenment. Funny enuf,i was at a prog.and d thermosat illustration was given.i now c it at a beta vantage point. Bless u Gem!

    Like

  23. Khume says:

    Hmmm! I just like this Mr. Andrew sha!

    I’m glad you married him Lahmeet. *smiles

    Thanks for the lessons Mr. Andrew and Anita thanks for sharing.

    I’ll start praying that ‘prayer’ from tonight too. …grace to be a thermostat and not a thermometer.

    Great one dear.

    Like

  24. Ezekiel says:

    Wow! Anita this Piece of yours is really Inspiring and Educative. I learnt to keep my emotions under control. Not just dat it also shows us that we need to disciplne ourselves in every aspect of our life because we are Ministers of God, the world is watching, people are watching, people no longer listen to d word of God or to a Pastor’s sermon but they watch Us. So we ought to be Ambassadors of Christ. Nice one.

    Like

  25. Noms says:

    The world will actually be a better place if we all put these to consideration. Its ok to be angry but guide what comes out of you when you are,cos words when spoken,can’t be taken back. No matter how sorry you are,it takes the grace of God for one to forgive and forget whatever negative and hurtful words are spoken.Nice one. My regards ur hubby.

    Like

  26. christy says:

    I’m really touched by d story, am also an aggressive person, am easily offended. Bt wit dis article may God help me d more. I learned a lot now

    Like

  27. Ouch, that was some instant test! I never knew that about the thermostat – If it were my hubby making that prayer I would’ve been like ‘Say wha?” LOL
    As always, you bring out the best lessons in every experience, and I not only learned something technical but spiritual… thanks!

    Like

    • lahmeet says:

      LOL abi o and to think that it was me that led in the prayers…Makes me wonder, do we just go through the spiritual motions? Read the word, pray and all but don’t really practice what we preach? I learned big from the experience my dear. It’s always a pleasure having you here bluephoenixrebel. Thanks! 😀

      Like

  28. Dre Stormz says:

    Everytym I read your write up, its always inspiring, although, I don’t comment, buh I njoy every bit cos its not jus inspiring but real, as its written frm xperiences and daily activities. We can but, only pray 4 that grace 2 b a thermostat, cos lotta people have one issue or the other botherin them, which makes dem unleash (unusual, rude) behaviour on others, temptin them to become a thermometer. Guuuuuudddd write up.

    Like

  29. Chidimma. says:

    Nice Job Anita dear, I love ur style of writing and presentation of work.Tnx for inspiring and enriching the soul.

    Like

  30. Inthe... says:

    Loved..loved this post. I feel like you were writing an observation pace on my life. Everything from catching snoozes between bible study and prayers ( We have daily Bible study at home) to flipping out in anger and then hating myself for it. By God’s grace, I’ve gotten better with the temper piece. Great Post again!

    Like

  31. Sijuade Ogunade says:

    Truly, real life situations helps us learn faster and keeps us on track when someone cares to share. You were just being human there in that supermarket. Nevertheless, the HolySpirit will always keep our consciences alive and it is left for us to choose our stand. That’s exactly what you did Lahmeet, you chose to be humble and allow some spanking (permit me to use that word because thats how it feels) from Mr. Andrew…lolz! Thank God for you and am glad I patiently read thru the lines. Keep shining babes.

    Like

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