Is it just me or do most people, wives especially, expect others (their husbands) to have the extraordinary ability to read their minds?
Last night when I got home from work, I walked in expecting the usual exuberant welcome home hug from Kiki, my 19 month old daughter. But what did I get instead? She ran away from me and cried when I tried to get close enough to hug her. It was puzzling and I felt hurt. I was like “which one is this one again?”. I tried to figure out what I had done to warrant being treated like the wicked witch from the west. I couldn’t pinpoint any wrong I had done. When I dropped her at crèche in the morning, we parted ways on a good note so I couldn’t understand this sudden serenre
But my daughter’s cruel and heartbreaking rejection (melodramatic, are we? 😀 ) is not what this post is about. My reaction to it is…. Minutes after the mini drama, Kiki was back to being her usual
clingy loving self. So that wasn’t the issue…
Like I said, I felt hurt and in trying to find out what the problem was, I temporarily shut my husband out instead of sharing my concerns with him. This was how it went down:
The Hubs: *Calling out from the bathroom where he was giving Kiki a bath* Kiki just squatted to pee… *excited* Its the 1st time I’ve seen her do so
Me: *Silence… Does he not realize I’m feeling sad about Kiki’s rejection? What’s this pointless gist about?*
The Hubs: Jay (that’s my sister) said I should greet you
Me: *More silence*
The Hubs: Babes? Did you hear what I said
Me: I heard…
The Hubs: Babes are you okay?
Me: *Seriously???* Do you think I am okay?
The Hubs: *Silence* No I don’t… (I’m sure the poor guy was thinking “this woman has started her wahala again”)
Me: *Peeved* Why do you think I’m not okay?
The Hubs: I just sensed it
Me: *Trying to decide if i should ignore him or just be plain about what’s upsetting me* Well, I’m upset about what just happened… You know, with Kiki…
And just like that… choosing to share my thoughts with him made a huge difference. The truth is that I was mad at him for not realizing how I felt. Essentially, I was mad at him for not being a mind reader…
Newsflash: My husband is not a mind reader!
Yes there are moments he may figure out exactly what’s bothering me without my having to spell it out for him but majority of other times, he may have no clue and it would be up to me to just tell him
This simple act of remembering that (most) people are not endowed with the mind reading ability would avert misunderstandings and unwarranted “silent treatments” . I dunno about you, but these things sap my energy and Lord knows I need my energy… How about just voicing out your concerns and saving yourself the stress? Certainly makes life much easier…
Here’s wishing you a super duper 2016! xoxo