I was in a Financial Modelling training and was feeling like a fish out of water with all the Microsoft excel jargon flying over my head. To kill the boredom, I logged into Instagram and began absent-mindedly scrolling down the pictures on my home page. However, a particular post by Bellanaija weddings got my attention. It was about a bride whose wedding dress was ruined just 5 mins before she was due to walk down the aisle… yeah you heard me right, 5 mins!
The dress was a very beautiful tulle and silk dress (probably very expensive too). The gist is that an overzealous videographer in a bid to get a good angle of the dress mistakenly hung it on an emergency sprinkler and within minutes the dress was ruined by sewage water! Wow! I cannot imagine how the bride felt. It was reported that she broke down weeping. Me sef that was reading the story felt like crying. I tried to imagine the same thing happening to me on my wedding day… *shudder*.
But you know what? The lady still got married that same day (after being consoled by her mom and fiancé). She wore iro and buba and also wore the veil she would have used for her gown (somebody say trendsetter!!!). Her husband wore agbada… and they exchanged their vows and were pronounced man and wife… If a roll call of married women is made today, she would be on that list (notwithstanding the drama surrounding her wedding ceremony). Now this was possible because all the important elements (read “important elements” as “bride, groom and officiating minister”) for the wedding ceremony were available. That the bride wore iro and buba instead of a sparkling wedding dress didn’t stop her from becoming a wife that day.
I learnt so many things from this situation…
I learnt that there are things I give my attention to that really do not matter. That focusing on the urgent can make me neglect the important. That the energy and resources spent on trivial issues can be channelled to cogent matters
I just wonder what would have happened if the bride had decided to postpone her wedding because of the ruined dress. True, she may have gotten married on a later date in a wedding gown, no doubt… But really, would wearing a wedding dress have made her more of a bride/wife?
So I asked myself, “Lahmeet what are you focusing on?”
Is spending all my time and energy at work with none left for my family really wise? Which is more important when push comes to shove? Or should I wait until then to choose?
Having a fancy and glamorous wedding bash is great. But is it really worth being in debt for? Will it make sense for me to start my matrimonial journey hiding away when angry creditors come calling? How about saving all the money I would have used to throw that wedding bash for my future kids’ education or something? Or maybe investing it? Which is more important- the wedding or the marriage?
OK, my colleague just bought the latest Peruvian weave and my eye is chooking and I am longer throating for it. But at the same time, my rent is due. Please my people, advise me. What should I do? Shebi I should just buy the weave? My landlord will allow me owe him till next year- he’s a nice guy. I know I would have to figure out how to pay the enormous rent next year but I will cross that bridge when I get there…
Or when faced with a rude shop attendant that totally lacks basic customer service skills, what should I do? Shout and hurl insults at her? And then she would probably serve me with her own verbal venom and we would both get down and dirty with fists flying… Would I leave with my dignity intact? Or would I regret not choosing the “a soft answer turns away wrath” route?
We make choices every day and the options available are a mix of the urgent and the important, the necessary and the unnecessary, the useful and the useless… It’s just like sieving flour for baking. The aim is so separate what’s needed (the flour) from what’s not needed (the stones). We all have a mental sieve which works just fine in separating the urgent/important, useful/useless and necessary/unnecessary. I think the problem is that sometimes we tend to choose the urgent over the important, we overlook the useful and settle for the useless or we busy ourselves with the unnecessary and become too drained to attend to the necessary…
So, I ask you- What are you focusing on?
May all your dreams come true… xoxo
Share your thoughts below 🙂